October 2, 2007

Today I look like a scoop of Neapolitan ice cream with a blue bag and ballet flats.  Another day at work, glazing over my square eyes looking at spreadsheets.  Ahhh research.  I’ve actually been doing a lot of article pulling on lead recently and have found out many interesting and valuable things about this heavy metal which I will now pass along to you.

I have said this before and I will say it again – do not take herbal supplements from questionable sources.  There are a ton of articles out there (and when I say articles I mean in such places as The Journal of the American Medical Association and Archives of Environmental Health) about folks getting lead poisoning from Asian and Indian “herbal remedies”.  Evidently they are herbal concoctions put together by untrained and unscrupulous folks wanting to gain your trust by adding an Asian title as flair to their mixtures.  Just say no.  I don’t know how fun chelation is but let’s not find out shall we? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chelation#Uses 

Another warning I have for you – please don’t huff gasoline or certain types of paint.  If you’re not worried about the brain damage that may cause then worry about the lead poisoning you may get.  Oh and that moonshine habit you have?  Well even though your granddaddy made it in the bathtub out back you still may get lead poisoning from it.  That one shocked the hell out of me.  What year is it?  Why is moonshine still being made and drank so regularly that there are more than a dozen articles about people getting lead poisoning from moonshine?  Isn’t prohibition over?  Isn’t mad dog still like $2 a bottle?  Some people so want to be Martha Stewart and make EVERYTHING.  Let it go people, let it go. 

Last but not least you may want to have your blood levels checked if you are ever shot.  Even though it’s a funny quip in the movies to say someone shot to death died of “lead poisoning” har har har – it actually happens.  Bullet made of metal, enters body, blood uptakes metal and there you go – lead poisoning.  “Rupert – I can’t believe you shot me.  You better not have given me lead poisoning!” 

There is my helpful guide on avoiding lead poisoning.  I’m going out to the shed now to throw out all my leftover hooch.  You can never be too careful.