Run When Chased

October 12, 2011

I have this fantasy.  I believe I can make it a reality but it will take a lot of work and self-control.  The latter I don’t have much of.  It’s this idea that you can have a baby and not even 6 months later, look normal again.  Not bloated, not 20 lbs heavier, but normal.  I’ve seen this happen.  I cannot tell you the jealousy I feel for women who have pictures with their infant and they’re wearing size 6 jeans.  I guess maybe I should start out as a size six and maybe getting back there would be simpler.  Just an idea.

Thirteen months after having my daughter I have finally started to run again.  Now, I don’t know if I can actually say “again” since my running life was a short 3 years.  Anyway, I have 10 lbs of baby weight left to lose and then 20 lbs of weight-that-should-have-been-lost-before-I-got-pregnant to lose.  I could probably stand to lose more than 30 lbs but BACK OFF, I’m trying.

Day one of running was pathetic.  Intermittent intervals of running and lots of walking.  I had on stupid shoes I thought would work and a small playlist of 10 songs.   I at least found out that my route is 1.5 miles long, give or take.

Over the weekend I readied myself to run in the park.  I got Nora and we headed off.  We were apparently a little late since it was overrun with ladies strolling and soccer kids marauding.  I attempted to use the C25K app I had downloaded on my phone but I am one of the few people that this program does not work for.  The shoes I thought would work turned out to be horrible (I had to take ibuprofen for two days my legs hurt so badly) and did I mention the hills?  Nora, ever the trooper, fell asleep during the ordeal.  We won’t even talk about Sunday.  Let’s just say 80 year olds walking their toy dogs lapped me.  Sigh. And did I mention the hills?

So, I sulk on Monday and then Tuesday it turns around. I traded out my shoes for an old pair of Asics I had from back-in-the-day and ran a different course.  Success!  I have no idea how to gauge this, whether it’s a good distance or not, but I think I ran about ½ a mile solid, which may be quite pathetic but it made me happy.  It was what I needed to keep at this.

I am hoping this will stick and by the time we’re ready for Baby #2 my fantasy of zipping up non-maternity pants before my child reaches high school may come true.


Melancholy: Time

September 23, 2011

Neglected doesn’t even come close to what I have done, or not done, to this blog.  To catch up – I got married, then I got pregnant, then we had an amazing daughter and then we bought a house.  Not bad for two years of neglect.  I should also say Adam changed jobs in there as well.  We like to lump all of our major life changes together.  That’s how we roll.

 Our daughter Nora just turned one a couple of weeks ago.  It’s incredible how time works.  The first three months were pure bliss for me.  Floating through maternity leave, enjoying the Fall weather and the smell of new baby.  The next three months seemed to go by much slower.  Maybe being back amongst the working had something to do with it.  It seemed like she would always be on her tummy, crawling away and then BAM!  She’s standing, then cruising and then full on walking and then she’s asking you for the keys to your car so she can go out Friday night. 

Babyhood flies by faster than you think.  The beginning kind of lulls you into small changes.  She rolled over!  She grabbed something!  She smiled!  You think, I’m enjoying this and suddenly you find yourself trying to figure out which new car seat to get since she’s too tall for her pumpkin seat and pondering the pros and cons of buying Stride Rite’s since she hasn’t developed an arch yet but is already running a 5k every morning before you leave for work.

I guess what I’m saying is that the speed at which things have gone is amazing to me.  There’s this phenomenon I’ve noticed, and I’m sure you have too; as you get older time goes by faster, like our own relativity scale increases.  High school took an eternity and college flew by.  I blinked and grad school was over.  I need to learn to savor the moment, to be “present”. This has always been difficult for me.  I have wonderful memories but I want to have wonderful, truly actualized experiences, snapshots at least.  Maybe I need to take up yoga or meditation or see a counselor about slowing down and lessening anxiety/stress/real life.  I don’t want to be absent in this amazing life I am fortunate enough to lead.  I want to enjoy every single second.  Ok, well maybe not every single second but where it counts.  I guess this is the lament of so many people, with or without children.  (Look at me trying to lump you all in with me so I look normal.  I’m tricky that way.)  But truly, real life makes you dizzy and rushed and unable to have the luxury of experience.  If one of you figures out the secret to this let me know.  I’d like in on it.


My loves.


April 8, 2009

Up ungodly early this morning and I’m trying not to go back to bed.  I should be straightening up for furniture arrival this weekend but it’s hard to be motivated.  If I’m not going to straighten I should go back to sleep but then I’ll have that icky feeling you get when you do that.  Decisions decisions.  Also, black counter tops I hate you.  We have acres of them in our place.  I cleaned them off on Monday and already have a nice, visible layer of dust.  Uuuurgh.  Dust rag here I come.

Lazy Friday

December 19, 2008

Today is Adam’s 35th birthday.  I took the day off to pack – how exciting!  Poor guy.  Well, no packing has occurred just yet but oh well.  We’re out of trash bags and I need to get packing tape.  I’m hopeful that the packing won’t take too long but that’s what you always think and things turn out very differently.  It’s helpful that he has moved very little to St. Louis so it’s primarily all my crap that has to be moved.  I’m trying to break my pack rat ways but it’s a slow process.

As usual, moving into a new place has come with the usual promises of keeping it tidy and smelling wonderful ALL OF THE TIME!  That usually only lasts a couple of months but I’m hopeful.  Having two dogs, two large dogs, makes constant vigilance a necessity.  Although we become accustomed to eau de chien it’s a sad reality that no one else does.  I see many plug-ins or candles in my future.  Boy that makes it sound like my apartment smells horrible but help me out dog owners, you know what I mean, right?!?!?!?

Anyway, the kitchen is the last to be packed and I’m still hoping to make Christmas breakfast although I don’t know if that will happen exactly the way I’m thinking it should.  My mantra: It’ll get done.

I think of all the times I’ve moved and I’m sure I frustrated my parents in college and grad school.  Both times I was not finished packing by the time they come up to move me out.  Stuffing clothes and various papers into random boxes and bags so we could get out of Dodge. *shakes head*  Oh the frustration they must have felt.  This time I’m hoping to do better.

I’ll get it done.   I’ll get it done.  I’ll get it done.  I swear.


December 11, 2008

We just returned from dinner and gelato with Kelly and Nathan. The South Grand area is an amazing place to eat. You have Thai, Ethiopian, Diner, etc , etc. Just so many fabulous choices. Basil Spice was the highly recommended (by Kelly) choice and I think it’s the best Thai food I’ve ever had. Great choice Kel! Needless to say we had a great time and can’t wait to do it again soon.

Right now I’m listening to the spin cycle while snuggled on the couch with Adam. I really am a very lucky girl although I should know better than to say that aloud.

Locked Out

December 4, 2008

The back stairs are made out of metal. It iced a bit and the pups were having none of going down the three long, slippery flights to go potty. We decided to take them out front, down the wooden steps inside the building. Much easier for puppy paws to navigate.

We take them out, me and Adam in slippers, freezing in the wind and slight rain. We turn around to go back in and realize neither one of us brought keys. We’re locked out. Fantastic.

I investigate the fence on the side of the backyard. Chain link against wooden fence. I would have to clear a foot or so of wooden fence if I managed to scale the chain link, swaying in its unanchoredness, in my child’s size 5 wool felt slippers. It’s a no go for me.

Adam has knocked on the first floor window and called out various neighbors’ names, to no avail. Don’t really blame them. How freaked out would you be if you heard some unfamiliar voice calling your name outside your secured building?

Adam goes around to check the fence for its climbing properties and disappears. I half expect to hear, “Whoa. Whoa.” *thud* Not because of his athleticism but because of the mentioned unanchored fence.

Relieved,  I see him walking down the steps inside the building to let me and the shivering pups in. Newt’s teeth can chatter and it’s the saddest, most pathetic sight ever. My slippers being soaked and ears about to fall off I’m so happy to enter the warm building’s corridor.

He had hopped the fence by the garage and was attempting to unlatch the gate door in the back when one of our neighbors saw him, and luckily she knows him from puppy bonanzas in the backyard. She told him, “I almost called the cops.” She graciously let him in through her apartment (we had dutifully locked our back door) and he let me in. Thank you Jamie!

As Adam took off his coat in the apartment he felt a sudden breeze. He had ripped his pants climbing the fence. Poor guy. I laughed so hard. It seems that my hero is not immune to cliches.


December 2, 2008

I’m watching local news. I usually avoid it and opt for checking the web for local goings on instead. I find watching it depressing in an almost sensational way. What’s that Eagle’s quote, “She can tell you about the car crash with a spark in her eye” or some such, I can’t remember now, but that’s what it always seems like to me. Local news not as good as local commercials, where there is at least a chance of accidental or even purposeful hilarity. I guess I want my news with better lighting and on cable. Who knows. I don’t watch national news either, just news programs. I LOVE YOU COLBERT!

Watching the news with someone who is not from here you find yourself trying to explain different sections of town and why they are to be avoided, meh, or desirable. Every place describes their towns differently, we happen to do it by direction: North County, West County, South City, etc. Those designations immediately bring up an almost visceral feeling of the area’s reputation, biased or not. It’s an interesting thing. I always want to know how other towns designate their areas and what sorts of feelings and reputations are associated – like asking someone what their red looks like, give me a key so I can decipher your town based on the permutations of mine.

There is one section that I never need to explain, East St. Louis. The only clarification I need to make is that it is Illinois and not Missouri. Even though it is described directionally I refuse to claim it.