Melancholy: Time

September 23, 2011

Neglected doesn’t even come close to what I have done, or not done, to this blog.  To catch up – I got married, then I got pregnant, then we had an amazing daughter and then we bought a house.  Not bad for two years of neglect.  I should also say Adam changed jobs in there as well.  We like to lump all of our major life changes together.  That’s how we roll.

 Our daughter Nora just turned one a couple of weeks ago.  It’s incredible how time works.  The first three months were pure bliss for me.  Floating through maternity leave, enjoying the Fall weather and the smell of new baby.  The next three months seemed to go by much slower.  Maybe being back amongst the working had something to do with it.  It seemed like she would always be on her tummy, crawling away and then BAM!  She’s standing, then cruising and then full on walking and then she’s asking you for the keys to your car so she can go out Friday night. 

Babyhood flies by faster than you think.  The beginning kind of lulls you into small changes.  She rolled over!  She grabbed something!  She smiled!  You think, I’m enjoying this and suddenly you find yourself trying to figure out which new car seat to get since she’s too tall for her pumpkin seat and pondering the pros and cons of buying Stride Rite’s since she hasn’t developed an arch yet but is already running a 5k every morning before you leave for work.

I guess what I’m saying is that the speed at which things have gone is amazing to me.  There’s this phenomenon I’ve noticed, and I’m sure you have too; as you get older time goes by faster, like our own relativity scale increases.  High school took an eternity and college flew by.  I blinked and grad school was over.  I need to learn to savor the moment, to be “present”. This has always been difficult for me.  I have wonderful memories but I want to have wonderful, truly actualized experiences, snapshots at least.  Maybe I need to take up yoga or meditation or see a counselor about slowing down and lessening anxiety/stress/real life.  I don’t want to be absent in this amazing life I am fortunate enough to lead.  I want to enjoy every single second.  Ok, well maybe not every single second but where it counts.  I guess this is the lament of so many people, with or without children.  (Look at me trying to lump you all in with me so I look normal.  I’m tricky that way.)  But truly, real life makes you dizzy and rushed and unable to have the luxury of experience.  If one of you figures out the secret to this let me know.  I’d like in on it.

2011-08-27_09-54-30_806

My loves.

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